stigisms/google-sheet/The Stig.csv

1	Start	1st Fact	and that	2nd Fact	ellipsis	Intro	http://www.motortorque.com/blog/2008-06/some-say-stig-isms---the-complete-stig-introductions-17739
2	Some say	he never blinks	, and that	he roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
3	Some say	he's wanted by the CIA	, and that	he sleeps upside down like a bat	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
4	Some say	he appears on high value stamps in Sweden	, and that	he can catch fish with his tongue	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
5	Some say	he is illegal in 17 US states	, and	he blinks horizontally	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
6	Some say that	his breath smells of magnesium	, and that	he's scared of bells	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
7	Some say	he naturally faces magnetic north	, and that	all his legs are hydraulic	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
8	Some say that	he lives in a tree	, and that	his sweat can be used to clean precious metals	...	All we know is that he’s called the Stig!
9	Some say that	his heart ticks like a watch	, and that	he's confused by stairs	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
10	Some say that	his voice can only be heard by cats	, and that	he has two sets of knees	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
11	Some say that	he's terrified of ducks	, and that	there's an airport in Russia named after him	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
12	Some say	his skin has the texture of a dolphin's	, and that	wherever you are in the world, if you tune your radio to 88.4, you can actually hear his thoughts	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
13	Some say that	he has no understanding of clouds	, and that	his earwax tastes like Turkish Delight	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
14	Some say that	his politics are terrifying	, and that	he once punched a horse to the ground	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
15	Some say that	his tears are adhesive	, and that	if he caught fire he'd burn for a thousand days	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
16	Some say	he can swim seven lengths underwater	, and	he has webbed buttocks	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
17	Some say that	his heart is in upside down	, and that	his teeth glow in the dark	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
18	Some say that	his ears aren't exactly where you'd expect them to be	, and that	once, preposterously, he had an affair with John Prescott	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
19	Some say	he has a digital face	, and that	if he felt like it, he could fire Alan Sugar	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
20	Some say that	his genitals are on upside down	, and that	if he could be bothered, he could crack the Da Vinci code in 43 seconds	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
21	Some say	his ears have a paisley lining	, and	he's been banned from the Chelsea Flower Show	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
22	Some say that	the outline of his left nipple is exactly the same shape as the Nurburg ring	, and that	if you give him a really important job to do, he'll skive off and play croquet	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
23	Some say	he invented Branston Pickle	, and that	if you insult his mother, he will headbutt you in the chest	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
24	Some say that	on really warm days, he sheds his skin like a snake	, and that	for some reason he's allergic to the Dutch	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
25	Some say that	his first name really is 'The'	, and that	if he went on Celebrity Love Island, they'd all be pregnant including the cameramen	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
26	Some say that	he once threw a microwave oven at a tramp	, and that	long before anyone else he realised that Jade Goody was a racist pig-faced waste of blood and organs	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
27	Some say that	he once had a vicious knife-fight with Anthea Turner	, and that	he is in no way implicated in the Cash-for-Honours scandal	...	All we know is he’s called Lord Stig!
28	Some say that	he is a CIA experiment that went wrong	, and that	he only eats cheese	...	All we know is he’s not The Stig - he's The Stig's fat American cousin!
29	Some say that	if you lick his chest it tastes exactly the same as Piccalilli	, and that	at this week's Brit awards he was arrested for goosing Russell Brand	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
30	Some say that	he sucks the moisture from ducks	, and that	his crash helmet is modelled on Britney Spear's head	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
31	Some say	he isn't machine washable	, and	all his potted plants are called Steve	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
32	Some say	his scrotum has its own small gravity field			...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
33	Some say	because our producer rigged a phone vote, he now has a new name			...	All we know is he’s called Cuddles!
34	Some say	he's banned from the town of Chichester			...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
35	Some say	in a recent late night deal he bought a slightly dented white Fiat Uno from the Duke of Edinburgh			...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
36	Some say	he gets terrible eczema on his helmet			...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
37	Some say	if he'd been the video ref in the World Cup Rugby Final he would've seen that if was, of course, a try you blind Australian half-wit			...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
38	Some say	to unlock him you have to run your finger down his face			...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
39	Some say	if he were getting divorced from Paul McCartney, he'd keep his stupid whining mouth shut			...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
40	Some say	he thought Star Wars was a documentary			...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
41	Some say	he recently pulled out of I'm a Celebrity because he's frightened of trees… and Australia… Koo Stark… and Ant… and Dec			...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
42	Some say	he knows two facts about ducks, and both of them are wrong			...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
43	Some say	61 years ago he accidentally introduced Her Majesty, the Queen, to a Greek racialist			...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
44	Some say	when he slows down, brake lights come on in his buttocks			...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
45	Some say	if he'd been the manager of the England football squad last week, he wouldn't have been a feckless-ginger-cum-chewing buffoon who ruined it for all of us			...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
46	Some say	he once lost a canoe on a beach in the northeast			...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
47	Some say	he once did some time in a prison in Canterbury because his teddy is called The Baby Jesus			...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
48	Some say that	after making love, he bites the head of his partner	, and that	he's had to give up binge-drinking now that it's got to £1.18 a litre	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
49	Some say that	each of his toenails are exactly the same as a woman's nipples	, and that	he thinks the credit crunch is some kind of breakfast cereal	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
50	Some say	his droppings have been found as far north as York	, and that	he has a full-size tattoo of his face - on his face	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
51	Some say that	he is not allowed, by law, within 100 yards of Lorraine Kelly	, and that	he's never seen an episode of Top Gear, because he's a huge fan of Midsomer Murders	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
52	Some say	it's impossible for him to wear socks	, and	he can open a beer bottle with his testes	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
53	Some say that	he sleeps inside out	, and that	he once had full sex with Russell Brand's answering machine	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
54	Some say	his favourite ever song is Forever Autumn by Justin Hayward	, and that	he has the world's largest collection of pornographical material	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
55	Some say that	he invented November	, and that	if he had won the World Championship in Brazil last weekend, there might have been one photograph of him without his father, gurning in the back of shot	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
56	Some say	one of his legs get longer when he sees a pretty lady	, and that	I haven't done one of these for some time and I've forgotten to make up a second thing	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
57	Some say that	he doesn't like to get his helmet wet. A point that was proved last week when he was caught in the back of shot by an eagle-eyed viewer			...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
58	Some say	he's seen The Lion King 1780 times	, and that	his second best friend is a cape buffalo	...	All we know is, he's not The Stig, but he is The Stig's African cousin!
59	Some say that	on Thursdays he becomes incredibly bulbous	, and that	recently, pigs in Mexico started to die of something called Stigflu	...	All we know is, he's highly contagious!
60	Some say that	in the autumn, all his arms go brown and fall of	, and that	if he wrote you a letter of condolence, he would at least get your name right	...	All we know is, he's called The Stog!
61	Some say that	he has some terrible plans involving the moon	, and that	he was turned down for a place on I'm a Celebrity because he is one	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
62	Some say	his new Christmas range of fragrances includes the great smell of Wednesday	, and that	he was turned down for the job of EU President, because his face is just too recognisable	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
63	Some say that	the drinks cabinet in his car contains fourteen different types of custard	, and that	while he has been known to leave his house in a bit of a hurry, he's never once hit a fire hydrant	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
64	Some say that	his discharge is luminuous	, and that	even as we speak, he is appearing on the main stage at Glastonbury performing his most famous hit, Superstition	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
65	Some say	there are 17 different reasons why he's banned from the Northhampton branch of Little Chef	, and that	his favourite airline pilot is Mark Webber	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
66	Some say	the Scottish released him a little bit too soon	, and that	he spent all week pushing an effigy of Rubens Barrichello through his desk fan	...	All we know is, he's probably called Ben Collins, and he's probably unemployed!
67	Some say that	he's recently been releasing pop records under the pseudonym of Lady Gaga	, and that	under his race suit he also wears a red G-string and suspenders	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
68	Some say that	he doesn't understand the word 'envelope'	, and that	he is the only woman in Britain not to have slept with Alan Johnson's policemen	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
69	Some say	he once tore a goat in half	, and that	he is now regretting buying his new holiday home in downtown Cairo	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
70	Some say	his nipples are explosive	, and that	he's recently had a Mexican… I mean Brazilian! Why did I say that? I'm sorry Mr. Ambassador! Anyway	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
71	Some say that	in his wallet he keeps a photograph of his wallet	, and that	in a recent race even he was beaten by the King's speech	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
72	Some say that	his favourite disease that he had when he was a child was Gout	, and that	he was very surprised this week when he was able to pick up some remarkably cheap tickets to the Bahrain Grand Prix	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
73	Some say	he doesn't know what dogs are for	, and that	he recently took out a super-injunction to prevent us from revealing that he ....... ................ ... ......... ..... ....... ...... with an enormous goat	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
74	Some say that	he can't eat mashed potato for religious reasons	, and that	he recently received 47,000 tickets, Olympic tickets, all of them for the final of the Women's Wrestling	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
75	Some say that	he refuses to acknowledge the existance of Nottingham shire	, and that	recently received a very strong email from his fiancee's mother, saying it's bad manners to sit at the dinner table in a helmet	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
76	Some say that	he once hacked into his own helmet	, and that	he thinks Harper Seven is a convicted terrorist cell	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
77	Some say that	his favourite T-shirt has a picture on the front of a T-shirt	, and that	he spent all week waiting for a big cheque from the Germans, because he too has spent the last 2000 years sitting on his backside doing absolutely nothing at all	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
78	Some say	he has 50,000 photographs of his own camera	, and that	60 years ago this week, he too became a Queen	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
79	Some say that	he is the only man in history to buy a DFS sofa when there wasn't a sale on	, and that	his favourite boxing venue is Munich airport	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
80	Some say that	in his phone he has a picture of his phone	, and that	he calls him self to hear him self	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
81	Some say that	he drinks alone	, and that	when he drinks alone, he prefers to be by himself	...	All we know is he’s called the Stig!
82	Some say that	he used to be a stormtrooper, but he was kicked out when he tried to eat Darth Vader.			...	All we know is that he's called the Stig!
83	Some say that	he's made of rubber porcelain	, and that	his shadow is that of a beluga whale.	...	All we know is that he's called the Stig!
84	Some say	he's "A" in Pretty Little Liars			...	All we know is he's called the Stig!
85	Some say	he's actually dead, but the Grim Reaper is too scared to tell him			...	All we know is he's called the Stig!
86	Some say	he can play guitar with the clutch	, and	his carbon fibre beard is chizelled in the most streamlined way	...	All we know is he's called the Stig!
87	Some say	he knighted the Queen	, and that	he saved the Queen from God	...	All we know is he's called the Stig!
88	Some say	he has a striped top like James May's			...	All we know is he's called the Stig!
89	Some say that	he can hypnotise sheep	, and that	if he could be bothered he could swim the Atlantic ocean - underwater	...	All we know is he's called the Stig!
90	Some say that	he once co-presented a Brazilian show about blimp disasters	, and that	once, he actually punched God	...	All we know is he's called the Stig!
91	Some say that	he once killed a giraffe with just his feet	, and that	he has a black belt in paper maché	...	All we know is he's called the Stig!
92	Some say	he is 5 foot tall with lead in his feet, others say 6 feet tall with air in his head... but he doesn't care what you say.				You'll only know him as... The Stig!
93	Some say	he's contracted every STD known to man	, and that	he has inflatable breasts to get him out of speeding tickets	...	All we know is he's called the Stig!
94	Some say that	he is one of the protons in the Large Hadron Collider	, and that	he creates miniature black holes every time he sneezes	...	All we know is he's called the Stig!